About MeJuly 31st 2022 - I spilled milk all over my car
Oh god today is the worst day of my entire life and that's saying something because I'm old as shit. I was running late to an important meeting with some fellow occultists (shoutout James and Joyce) and I hadn't had my breakfast yet so in a flash of genius I grabbed my bowl, spoon, cereal and ... milk before dashing into my car (toyota prius). What a grand idea I thought, I'll just make the breakfast in the car and eat it while I drive the 20 minutes it takes to get to our secret meeting spot! Surely nothing about this plan is likely to go wrong ... right? WRONG! In my haste to leave the house I completely forgot about the new potholes all along the road which I hit directly at about 60 miles an hour with a bowl of cereal in my hands and I like my cereal milky as well. Let me tell you I am so glad we all agreed to wear hooded robes over the top of our normal clothes when meeting up because I was absolutely soaked in milk when I arrived (I think maybe some people noticed the smell but if they did they didn't say anything). Anyway if anyone has recommendations for car cleaning companies in the local area that can work quickly drop me an email I really don't want my car to smell like gone off milk forever.
April 1st 2022 - Lorem Ipsum
Do you know what the fuck Lorem Ipsum means cause I sure dont, I think it might be some kind of ancient Latin spell to ward off evil internet spirits because I keep seeing it on all these websites you know the ones with the big banners at the top saying stuff like "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" and "EXAMPLE PAGE". Anyway I think Lorem would be a beautiful name for my next daughter, it's a little bit like Lauren but more quirky yknow and that's exactly what my kids will love, quirky unique names that nobody else in the world has.